RIP, date TBD
November 2, 2025
With ghosts, spirits, and graveyards on the mind this time of year, I was remembering coming across a surprising gravestone in my local cemetery a few years back. It had the name of someone I knew from the neighborhood, her birth date, and no death date. I did a double-take before realizing what it was. She bought herself a grave? It’s just there waiting for her? She’s not even very old! How creepy!
That was before my End of Life doula training, back when I had not given much thought to my own death. Now when I see gravestones like the one I came across last week (below), I think, Good for her!
She did some real thinking about how she wants to be remembered, and her loved ones are relieved of a difficult task. I imagine that the process gave her a healthy perspective about what matters most in her remaining years.
Do you find the prospect of seeing your own gravestone terrifying? Remember, that scare helped Ebenezer Scrooge turn his life around.
Luckily you don’t need to have an actual brush with death to face up to its inevitability. While thinking about your own death can feel sad, scary, and even taboo, I would argue that it’s one of the most life-affirming practices you can do. Not thinking about it and not talking about it deprives you of something powerful and potentially life-changing.
As the days grow shorter and prompt us to turn inward, consider reflecting about your death from a place of gratitude instead of fear. You are here, now! Can you let the prospect of your death be a mirror to help you see your life more clearly? How might you begin to live in alignment with what matters most to you today?
